DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in life
There are two very different kinds of requirements that
people have while moving. First there are the transactional needs, like finding
the home that is just right for you, finding a seller who is realistic,
negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork, handling the closing details
and arranging for the move. But there are also emotional needs that are involved
when moving, and this is where the biggest stress comes in. Any knowledgeable
agent will handle the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs
are unfulfilled, you’ll be frustrated and may not act in your own best
interests. The ideal real estate agent is one, who is knowledgeable with
paperwork and numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the
emotional ups and downs of moving. Here are six recommended ways to beat
the stress.
Begin with the end in mind
Have an ultimate scenario of where you’re trying to be.
What will life be like when you get there? How will it be improved than where
you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a page
about how it feels in the new place. This is very important. Having the goal in
front of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and
frustrations. Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. Focus on that
future objective when apprehension threatens to get the better of you.
Be Flexible
In your monetary calculations, overestimate by a thousand dollars, preparing for anything that can happen between contract acceptance and closing. It could be the inspections reveal areas of concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or the repair costs are higher than the amount limited in the contract. Or the interest rate changes, which affect the necessary down payment and closing costs, you will need to come up with. As your realtor, I will go all-out to tie up loose ends as promptly as possible, but remember there is no ideal world.
The majority of buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking
on a new mortgage and the responsibilities of a new home and we’ve seen many
buyers get irritated when it seems like the cost just keeps going up. Irritation
is caused when reality doesn’t match up with the expectations you had in your
mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you won’t get irritated.
In fact, it’ll probably go better than you expected.
Trust in the Process
There’s just so much to do, it’s easy to be
frightened. You wonder if it will ever work out. You think you’re taking
a big chance, but the truth is you’re giving yourself a big chance. Even
though you can’t see every step of the way, as you move towards your goals,
the way opens up. I know that you may not have moved in a long time and it can
be a major upheaval in your life. But I've been there many times before, and
I will be looking out for you. Trust that I know the way to get you there.
Get Knowledge
One thing you’ll perhaps feel during this transition time is a thing being out of your control. It feels like everyone else has taken over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the inspectors, they all have the power to say yes or no to your moving plans.
I’ll try my best to let you know ahead of time that your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are. I’ll tie down the loose ends as soon as possible. I’ll try to get your loan approved within a reasonable time frame. I’ll educate you as best I can and let you in "behind the scenes" so you won’t ever feel things are out of your control.
What is Your Option?
When things don’t go as smoothly as you had hoped, don’t let emotions take over. Always ask yourself "What is my option?" because there are always options. Let’s pretend the lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and more documentation. You’ll feel distressed because you wanted to feel certain about the move and now you still have to live with the uncertainty. You want to say "Forget it, I’m fed up with this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and start the process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have to provide all the paperwork over again. If the lender is trying his best, it may be better to give him a few more days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur we’ve found that asking yourself this question helps to defuse the situation and restore clear headed thinking
Seek Entertainment
When there’s not anything you can do about the circumstances, take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but now it won’t come until Monday. You dislike being in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something else entirely, maybe something where you aren’t powerless. Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town for the day. Watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you now would be a good time to engage in it. Just stop thinking about the situation and refuse to listen to those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something else in its place and just take it one day at a time.
To keep stress to a bare minimum, here is how I’ll serve you when you work with me in buying your new home:
Give my best-reasoned expert guidance and advice with your best interests in mind. Clarify your goals and motivation, and assist you deciding if moving is the wisest choice at this time. Provide recommendations and information to help your children through all the changes.
Negotiate effectively for you to get the lowest possible
price for your new home. Treat your money like it was my own, shaving every
expense achievable. Protect your interests during closing, keeping a detailed
record of the transaction
Be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve when the stress is
overwhelming. Advise you through the feelings of "buyer’s
remorse". Alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel
more in control
Contact you on a daily basis during the last 10 days of the transaction to serve
your needs. Provide guidance and help with movers, change of address,
utilities shut off, cleaning, etc.
Deliver your closing paperwork. Continue to give you information of value after the transaction... for life
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